Ok so last night as hard as I tryed to stay in I couldn't. A night out was way over due for me. So I go on craigslist in the T4M section. Because thats the only way I know how to get a hold of my "Crying Game" friend... So I find her on there and call her up and bring her to my hotel.
We haven't even hit the room yet and she's getting ambushed by 15 year olds with hard ons, carring La Cross sticks following her around. It took everything out of me not to tell them that the hot brunette they where chasing probably has a bigger package then they do.
So we make a fast escape to my room to plan ahead for our saturday night escapades. When we get inside she turns to me and says: "My pussy was getting so wet" I looked at her slack jawed like WTF... and I said: "Bitch... What pussy"??
She looked at me all innocently and replied: "My snatch in the back"
Trust me there's a few more details to this but I'ma leave them out for now to save you from the graphic nature of the image.
So we come up with a plan to hit the road.
Destination: Falls View Casino!!!
We throw all our shit in my whip and hit the road. The ride was kinda dry. My narcoliptic trani passenger passes out mid sentence describing the size of oil workers cocks in Edmonton, Alberta. So she finally comes to at Lundy's Lane and apologizes for passing out. Her defence was: She had just started a new harmone rejiment. But that's a whole different story and we still have to make a pit stop for RED BULL and to top up my power steering fluid.
My 02 PasSat is much like my trani passenger. Beautiful outer shell but all mixed up, confused and going hay wire on the inside. Its navy blue sitting on 18 inch Axis Hagen's. But I have to fill this thing up with power steering fluid every adventure. We finally get to the casino but I'm held hostage in the underground by the trani and her make-up bag.
So we're making our way through the Falls View Casino to hit the slots and already I feel the sexual glances from all the adoring fans. I'm the bitch wing women to the permiscouse trani buddy... Tonights gonna be a good night. (Black eye pea's song playing in my head)
We get into the casino and we're scooping out the best place to park it where we our beautyand poise can be readly enjoyed, like 2 Fareri's in a show room. Just as we're settling in 2 Italian studs with accents straight out of Naples approach us. They where smooth like they had done this befor.
They invited us out for smokes. I must admit I was tempted by they're continetal swagger but completely turned off by they're lame atempt. Like really your offering me cigarette... Not even a glass of white wine or a Bud Light Lime??? Cheap Bastered's!!
Not to mention I had just thrown 20 in the penny slots. I had 2000 plays and a couple Heinekens ahead of me. So we turned them down, as we knew there was much more men meat to devour that night. So we get our drinks and I turn my focus completely over to my slot machine.
It was a good call for me cause I go on this winning streak. I had just won like 180 bucks and 20 free spins. My machaine starts producing musical melodies as Im rolling in my winnings. I didn't even notice that my trani buddy had taken off on her own little exscapades.
So I cash out of that machine and move on to the next. As I know my Trani girlfriend will soon re-appear. I continue on my winning streak with my new machine and I'm approached by this 5'5 caucasian college kid, who's mom probably dressed him. I'm sure this kid has has one to many and is feeling quite bold. He try's to make a move on me and after I've turned him down atleast 3 times he moves on to this mother daughter duo passing by.
The daughter was like 27 and the mom was like 53. Instead of hitting on the duaghter this kid starts hitting on the mom. I try to concentrate on my slots when I over hear they're conversation. The mom asked the kid what he dose for fun and his reply was: "I can't tell you I have to show you" I burst out laughing and turn to him and say: "Did you really just say that to her" The mother daughter duo start laughing too. The kid turns to me so seriously and says "Stop cock blocking... You jealous now that I moved on"
Before I could even get out a smart ass reply my trani friends reappers with a shot, 2 drinks and a devilshly handsome new man friend. She introduces us then takes me aside
2 be continued... To tired to type anymore. Still recoperating from last night. I'll finush blogging tomorrow, Nite Nite world. Mwah
No comments:
Post a Comment